that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
