Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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