Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
