I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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