Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
