I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
