I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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