If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
