dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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