there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
