what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
