just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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