he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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