I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
