Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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