I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
