i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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