first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
