i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
