dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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