just tell him i said nine months
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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