You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Randomize
