It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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