ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think i have two assholes
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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