Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
