five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
tell me about the fingering
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