what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
