Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
