The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
