my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
