WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
