Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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