hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize