oh god the rape fog is back!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
