I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She needs sedatives and a leash
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
