i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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