i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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