i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
