The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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