i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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