I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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