Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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