did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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