She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize