mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dicks are not precious.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
