i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have fence marks all over my body
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
