i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
