He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
