i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
