We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
