And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
