grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize