Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
