great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
