Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
