Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My balls are so social today.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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