Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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