He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
