he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
