He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
