Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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